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Excuse Machine
One absurdly professional excuse, on demand.
Fun 15 sec
Polished corporate nonsense, on demand.
When to use this
- Friday afternoon slack: When energy is low and the standup needs something — anything — in the chat.
- For the group chat: A bit of deadpan workplace absurdity to share with coworkers who get it.
- When you genuinely forgot the standup: A graceful, slightly silly way to acknowledge the slip without overexplaining.
- When the situation demands artisanal corporate bullshit: You know the moment when it arrives.
Pick a scenario, or just hit surprise